Fus Ro Dah!
The Elder Scrolls Series is an epic and memorable series of games, but the latest one in the series, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, is amazing. Yet, there are some things you can do that can screw you over. So, one of them is killing a chicken. Heres some reasons why NOT to kill a chicken.
1) Oh, Riverwood...
Is... barbaric. Is... unforgiving. Is... like Spartans You screw up one with these people and there wanting you dead on a cross then frozen by a spell, cursed forever. Seriously though, in that town, considering it is the town of your friend who helped you escape your beheading it would be civil like him. No, its a basic beginners trap! Because in that town Chickens are a sacred animal if you dare to just touch one, you have:
- A crazy fat farmer with a pitchfork
- If its late in the game, Whiterun Gaurds
- A farmers wife with a dagger
- Some other crazed Farmers and even a glitch where CHILDREN come after you
All coming after you, so much that either you'll be chased out of Riverwood by them or have to restart the game because you have crappy weapons and to the nearest city theres too many bandits.
2) Noobs are adventurous
In Skyrim, don't lie, you were a noob once. An adventurous noob worthy of only failure, and believed Skyrim was easy. You have seen videos of it, and such, and are ready to fight anyone, so you kill a chicken, somehow avoid bandits and theives, get to Whiterun and then say to fight you rather than go to jail. So then everybody hates you. I actually had to restart the game because Whiterun Gaurds are ambushing you. God, life is hard in Skyrim.
3) Crazy Chicken Preacher
You know at Whiterun where theres a guy who is yelling about things like a maniac in the fountain place near the Jarl's castle? Yeah. The one in the robe who is a lunatic. Him. If you kill a chicken he will always say the Gods have forsaken us all and the world is doomed over that chicken, and annoy you so much you kill him. That really, really is what happened to me.
4) The Chicken Breast Sucks
Seriously, you think you'll get anything out of the raw chicken? No. It doesn't refill much stamina and is useless. Plus, for just Chicken Breast it's one heavy lump of chicken. And no, you can't cook it like anything. Also it just reminds you of shame inside of your chest in your home.
5) Every Gaurd is out to get you
Yes. You can't escape the Gaurds faithful words: "Wait, I know you" until you're a thane. And even then sometimes they want to catch you. Either die, go in Jail or be fined, they will punish you and ruin your good experience in Skyrim. Seriously though, just say
"I don't have time for this; do you?"
And I was surprised that worked.
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